Breaks can sound wonderful although often seem to reach a point where our minds and bodies are screaming for some action.

My wonderful beta readers are starting to send through reports on my work in progress, “Lamington”. Patience, regrettably is not one of my virtues and the enforced break from my writing, has admittedly been somewhat akin to torture for me. Imposter syndrome rears its ugly head, and my mind goes into overdrive looking back at every scene and wondering if my little world has unfurled on the page as it has in my mind. Luckily, having been a netballer during my formative years (not to mention a stint as a Remedial Massage Therapist), my nails are already a sensible length, so I haven’t had to gnaw them into ragged reminders of stress.

I have attempted to spend this break time as wisely as possible. Zero complaints about the time I’ve been able to devote to tackling my mountain of a TBR list. After all, those books aren’t going to read themselves. Stumbling upon some wonderful treasures, I’ve made some new lifelong friends that I am sure to revisit over the years. Life admin has also had some boxes ticked. A generally neat person, my wardrobe looks grownup and organised until I go all Tassie Devil on it when I can’t locate a particular item of clothing that I am certain I still own. One of the downsides of moving house a few times, is that I retain a kind of muscle memory regarding items that should be in my closet or kitchen drawers. It can get frustrating when those items are simply gone. I am pleased to report, my closet is no long looking shamefully cluttered, and I even had the strength to get rid of some particularly loved items of clothing I’ve held onto for far too long ($5 peasant skirt I purchased from Crossroads in my early 20’s).

October has also seen me striving to improve my own mental and physical health. As someone who finds rewards motivating, I was wracking my brain to figure out a good motivator for exercise (while recovering from influenza – go figure!) and had investigated walking challenges where you can earn medals etc before stumbling across a charity event for a charity that is near and dear to my heart. So, for this month, I am taking part in One Foot Forward, a charity walking challenge for Black Dog Institute, to raise money and awareness for Mental Health. As my Fundraising Goal and Distance Goal creep up steadily, I am gaining a lovely sense of achievement and feeling better about life and myself.  If you aren’t familiar with the charity, I urge you to visit https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/. There is a wealth of information regarding mental health initiatives, resources, and support.

All the walking (at times accompanied by an audio book), has certainly got my creativity firing on all cylinders. Walking past other pedestrians (happily seeing the shirts of others taking part in One Foot Forward), my brain automatically starts filling in the blanks of their imagined lives. People watching is enormous fun as a writer. Stories float to the top of my consciousness, vying for attention. My little black book, a moleskin I keep safe in my handbag, becomes invaluable at times like this. Scrawled notes, maybe one too many exclamation marks when I am feeling particularly excited by a story idea, and some rather questionable doodling (I’m no artist, really, even my stick figures are rather pathetic) and the little notebook starts to feel heavy in my hand as my mind shouts at me to get writing.

I’ll admit to giving in and allowing my brain to roam around, checking out the terrain for some of these story ideas. A family story my Mumma told me earlier this year, has continued to scratch away at the corners of my mind, and a fictional story based on the experiences of some of my ancestors is slowly becoming almost visible to me. Wanting to do the story justice if I do pursue it, I know that I am not yet ready to tell this story. Will I ever be? I can’t say. I hope so. This story deserves to see the light of day, but I have some growth to do as a writer, and as a person, before I feel ready to tackle it.

I know I need to work on my patience and should be relishing the break and guilt-free time to read. It is probably because my writing time can be hard won at times (particularly juggling a full-time job), that makes me so anxious to get back into it.

Things have their own time. I need to remember that.